memory_or_dream

09:40 am: Going home
Yes I know I've all but abandoned this, but then I was never good at blogging. Hope to be better in the new year (especially since I found a way around the filter). Anyway, I'm home for the summer so no Internet, if you need me e-mail me and I may get it, or call if you have my number. Be back August 1st.

05:01 pm: Updating...Finally
Yes, I'm still alive. Nothing much too new has been going on. Went home for Thanksgiving. Had a blast. Came back, car stereo died. Costs $200 to fix. Grrr. Wisdom tooth came all the way in, jaw sore but better now. Lots of cleaning to do on the apartment. Winter Formal here, only one working at the building... Otherwise nothing much. Getting ready to send out Christmas cards. Oh and got a cingular pay as you go cell, but get free cingular to cingular so if you use cingular let me know and I'll get you the number. Later all.

01:34 pm: Gone is the lj and the last bits of e-mail. As of Tuesday, the school finished blocking all the blogs, though lj has been gone for a couple weeks now. They also finally found my Juno account. So if anyone wants to e-mail me, you'll have to use my school e-mail. my first initial, last name, and then a fun ending, check out the school's website (if you know where I am) and you should be able to find the @etc for me there. Heck if this is to cryptic, you can find my e-mail on the site as well. Hope everyone keeps in touch. I'm still availble by phone and still planning on being in AR Oct. 5th-10th. Get in touch if you want me to stop by.

11:10 pm: Changes
     Evidently I have changed. I've been quite mad about the way the guys think about me and the way they treat the things on this wing and compare it to how the students of the old school didn't think that way or do thsoe things. But then they all knew me and had heard of me. I'm back to square one. To boot I'm feeling frustrated about not knowing all the rules and how every detail of the school works like I did the old one. I don't have a ton of students willing to talk to me. I feel cutoff and frustrated. And the more I hear the guys deriding me the more I take everything they do personally. Puff The Magic Dragon (as someone put on my bulletin board, as well as a dobie, stoned eyes and many others things) was destroyed today. His eyes pierced and then his face ripped off. I would take a picture, but I can't find my digital camera right now. Anyway, so I have to replace the board and this time it will have nothing on it. But this brought a lot of anger, since I put a bit of time into drawing that sign and then painting it over so it was now a painting since I had to cover up the graffite. So, I had a meeting with them all and layed into them about all the rules being broken and one of them, who I've been warned about, said I shouldn't be taking everything personally that they aren't doing it because I'm the new guy and they're taking advantage (yep, he's a senior). Anyway, he is partially right. I'd have acted the same as far as writing people up and taking stuff away today ( a tennis racket someone was playing with in the halls), but I could have done it without the anger. They need to realize I am here to enforce the rules and if they let me take a greater part in their lives like I was in the old students. I've got to realize this isn't the old school. My old students are gone, and though I may hear from them, they aren't mine anymore and I know from past experience most of them I won't hear from again... That hurts but I ahve to move on. I lost my family but I have a job. And I have to do that job and not take everythign as personally. And yes there will still be writeups. Oh and I actually had the chance to expel a student today. All those old jokes of being able to do that and now I can. I let him off with just a warning though. Boy was he scared, and no he didn't do anything major, the rules just worked against him...

01:32 am: Timing?
     No sooner do I decide to say my final farewells, but a rumor surfaces that the old school wants me back. First, looking into the truth of that. Second if it is true don't know what the heck is going on. Oh well if any of you former students on here know anything let me know. Later all.

07:46 pm: Saying Goodbye

     My first true weekend working here and I think I'm getting to know the students better so it's not so alien and frustrating being here. Of course I've heard from the students of the other school and everything I'd doen there as been undone it seems and alot has been done to make sure no one like me ever exists there again. That's a bit disheartening, but it has made me realize. The reason it's being so hard to adjust to being here is I've been holding hope out for there. I need to just finish up the last of the loose ends and say goodbye. It's going to be hard, but I'll have to work on it. Also, trying to finally clean up this apartment and unpack so it can feel like home and not just a stop over to something else. I think a month, even with the hectic place of a school, is long enough to deal with someone else's filth and living out of boxes. Well, the students here are proving more and more interesting the more I get to know them and the less I hear "I hate Matthew". Should leave for now since it's a bout study hours and I am on duty. Have a goodnight all and leave notes...

01:18 pm: Down In Mississippi

     So it isn't unusual for me to get quiet on here for long periods of time, but hey I actually have been busy. I got here the last Tuesday of July and moved up what I had with me, a tv, computer, and clothes. Wednesday was the start of staff training and we went through everything... Renewed the CPR/First Aid, went through emergency response team procedures, went over the rules, got the halls ready, just the whole shebang. Had some problems with the building which wasn't much fun. Saturday my stuff arrived and is still sitting in boxes... also a few seniors arrived. Juniors arrived on Sunday and the air died. 110 in the building at least... Seniors arrived that next Wednesday and classes began on that Thursday. So that was a very hectic two weeks since no one was off and we were all running. The next week I was working on getting my CDL for here and taking care of paperwork. Didn't quite have time to get everythign done before I had the weekend off, last weekend. Decided to get my butt out of dodge, mainly due to the dripping animosity of the students towards me... Who knew having a dragon on your door would create such animosity. Not even a mean one either... Anyway, went to Little Rock and had dinner with jenni at Captain Ds, then watched Tivo'd tv, and finally got to see Sky High. :) The next day Jenni had to go to a dog washing thing so I went shopping at Toys'R Us, Target, Comic Book stores, etc. Had lunch in Conway at Ryan's, forced the evil beck to wait on me. :) It was good seeing her though. Then off to Ole Miss for the wedding of a friend. Beautiful ceremony. Didn't get to see or speak to anyone I kenw since they were  in the wedding, but hey it was fun. Ole Miss hasn't changed much, Oxford has a ton, but Ole Miss not much. Then it was back here. I spent my last day off and my two this week working on getting my licenses straight, and the car put in my name and insurance put on it etc. Yes, I finally have a car, a little Echo. And that's really about it. I work all this weekend and week until Wednesday comes. For anyone who didn't get the phone or addy via e-mail let me know and I'll send it out, I'm about to send out a new one and see if it makes it through to you all. Hope everyone is doing well, and leave me some notes so I know who is actually reading this drivel. lol

10:48 pm: If You're Going Through Hell
     I have a ton to catch everyone up on, like the new job and the weekend AR trip. But I need to go to bed soon so I can wake up early to take the CDL test. But I did want to let everyone know I'm alive (especially since I had to abandon my xanga and myspace accounts and refer everyone here) and also report I found the perfect song this weekend to cover my life since May. Rodney Atkins- If You're Goign Through Hell. Here is the chorus:

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, Face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

     Seems to fit and is fairly appropriate. Well hope to hear from everyone and that everyone is well. Night

06:24 pm: Get A Job
Well everyone, I'm one of the gainfully employed. Moving to MS tomorrow, my stuff will be coming by on Saturday. Anyone in MS who didn't get my e-mail, or those who wish to visit, let me know an e-mail addy and I'll send you my info so you guys can drop by and/or call. And yes, I will have a car... ANyway, later all.

11:41 pm: Columbus Bound
Well leaving tomorrow at noon to go to Columbus for a job interview at 9 am on Tuesday. Any of you MS people who might want to visit me, Monday night I have no plans. You should all have the number to call me, the cell will be with me for the trip. If you don't have it, leave me a message if you want to meet and I'll check on here before I leave. Later all and wish me luck...